Remembering

As someone that has spent many a holiday curled up in the bottom of a vodka bottle I'd have to say this time of year can be rough. I like to celebrate, rejoice, and embrace the new year with the best of them, but this time of year causes one to reflect. Remembering is the key for me. Over two years sober, living an incredible life, I choose to remember the bad times lest I forget my growth. This time of year can be humbling. As I transition into the new year I carry with me the knowledge of where I've been and the burden of knowing the pain I've caused others. Revisiting, remembering, exposing myself to lessons learned I reach towards the new year with my feet firmly planted in the twisted chaos that birthed me. To those that are feeling sorrow, pain, and loneliness and those that are feeling joy, love and community I wish a safe and healthy new year. I know how it is to feel alone in a crowded room. I also know how it feels to be alone and content. I may not have the answers, in fact I usually end up with more questions, but I do know that we all need to feel a sense of belonging. May we all be in a better place a year from now and let's hope it's crowded.